Parenting is Hard: The Heart vs The Head

Every day I day battle within my own head to keep these beautiful smiles on BOTH of these beautiful faces!

Parenting is hard, having a child with Autism takes so much emotional energy, more than I ever realised, I can't imagine how those with more than two children or those with multiple children with additional needs cope. The forward planning, worry and dealing with (not always being able to solve), extra challenges you know your child will face all take an emotion toll. My mother once said to me "every time you hurt, I feel your hurt and my own for you all at once"...so true!

But what about my other child?

This question pulls on my heart everyday. I am often left wondering if I am available enough - mentally and physically - for my daughter.

I worry she sees me spending too much time parenting my son, helping him navigate the world, helping him deal with issues and problems. Often the smallest issue will overwhelm him and my support is needed not only help with the issue at hand but to also teach him how to overcome these issues that very often pop up in life. My daughter sees me giving the extra support that my son requires and I worry she feels I don't give her the same time even though she is very competent and deals with issues on her own, she enrols herself into dance class or netball trials, studies without reminding and organises herself, she certainly is a very capable young lady - she doesn't need as much support, or does she?

Over the years I have seen my daughter hold in her worries, after watching her brother meltdown and the emotional toll this takes on me, I felt she was not wanting to bother me and was holding in her questions, thoughts and worries. I have really worked at building a more open communication between us both. I started to ask questions and actively encourage her to talk to me more about what was going on in her world.

My daughter knows and understands Zac nearly as much as I do, she has been with me during many meltdowns and times of stress and emotion, more than my husband as he was often at work. She is a gem and I absolutely know people underestimate what she has experienced in her life so far as a younger sister to her brother with Autism.

Siblings of children with extra needs are one of a kind. I hope she knows that and I hope I am an available parent for both of my children, my head is telling me I am doing the best I can for BOTH children so they will keep smiling, my head just needs to keep reminding my heart this.

I do parent both children quite differently. They are different children with different personalities and with different needs, so I am ok with that. I just hope I am enough for both of their needs.

My children are both special, both unique, both loved with all of my heart ♥️